Sometimes it comes down to cost/benefit. You have said several very positive things about this therapist:
--"He is a man I admire and respect"
--"He has helped me immensely resolve many residual issues left from Terminating T #1"
--"Therapy with this T was a GREAT experience, just a few bad moments."
You also have had some miscommunications and things he did that bothered you a lot, like sharing your email with a staff member, becoming upset (agitated) with himself that he didn't provide better for his clients while he was away, not guaranteeing you that you won't encounter someone you know in the waiting room, offering you any appointment time you want but then not being able to make good on that offer since his schedule is filled...
It sounds like the negatives outweigh the positives now and that is why you have terminated. If there was a way you could work your way through those negatives with him, could you continue with him? Some of those negatives sound like they could be worked through, if he responds appropriately. Like I think sharing your email with staff is pretty serious stuff. When you raised that issue with him, what did he say? I would have a hard time with that one too, unless he responded with something like, "I shouldn't have done that, and I'm sorry. From now on, let's consider the emails you send me as not confidential because I may share them with staff for scheduling purposes. It would be best to limit emails to issues like cancellations and appointment changes, etc." Then you know where you stand with emails and you have his apology and can move on from there. But if he doesn't see the problem or acts like you are blowing the breach in confidence out of proportion, then I would have a hard time with that attitude.
I'm not sure about his "agitation" comment. Maybe he just means he is upset at himself that he didn't provide better for his clients while he was away. I think it is good if he is upset with himself. He may become a better practitioner because of this experience. I could get past this if he told me his plan for the future so this doesn't happen with clients again. For example, my T doesn't answer client communications swiftly, but he has a message on his phone giving the number of a crisis clinic if we are in crisis. So one always knows that they can call that number to get help. And if they are not in crisis, they can be patient and wait for T to return their call, which can take a few days.
Anyway, LIT, I guess my hope is that you have raised each of your issues with him and given him a chance to respond and for both of you to get on the same page so you can move forward. If you haven't raised these issues, then there is some more work that could be done. If you have raised the issues and he has responded unsatisfactorily, then I would probably move on too.
Good luck, LIT.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships."
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