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I do admire your ability to ask for what you need. I'm not sure that I could do it, or that I necessarily do it in smaller ways in any meaningful. I treasure my self-sufficiency and it would be most difficult to break from that and ask for help.
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If I gave you the impression, Anne, that I can ask for what I need, then it was the wrong impression. The whole point of this thread is that I can't and never have been able to ask. That was just irrelevant during most of my life, but within the past four years being able to ask for what I need has become basic survival behavior. And I'm not surviving.
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A milder form of breaking with self sufficiency is feeling okay with accepting what others offer me, or even accepting per se. This is something I have only recently been able to do, and it has been a little bit revolutionary. I have noticed a corresponding shift in accepting myself, being kinder and more caretaking of myself, as I have allowed others to give me something. It has been a gift.
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That I've been able to do all my life. A free gift is one thing. Asking is another. To me. And possibly to you. But no one is offering me free gifts anymore. Now I HAVE to ask.
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I hope for you that your willingness to make this kind of change has positive side effects for you, ygrec. Anne
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Thank you, Anne, I hope so too.
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We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
Ygrec23