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Wow, what you wrote is so eloquent and so profound. It really spoke to me as I can relate. My T always tells me that I have so much insight and in response to that I tell him that I know I have the insight, but that's about where it stops. What then? What's next? What do I DO with that insight? He never really answers that question.
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Insight is the powerful flashlight that will permit you to see things in the stygian gloom of your mind. Facts. Memories. Suppressed realities. Feelings. Insight permits you to connect one thing to another out of what were previously just unrelated things that were lying around. Your T can't tell you all of this because if you're TOLD the answer, if you don't figure it out on your own, the batteries in the flashlight will die and you'll be no better off.
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I'm beginning to think the answer to that is that I need to go out on a limb and ask for what I need and/or want. Which is the LAST thing I want to do because on some unconscious level I know (read: think) that what I'm asking for is unreasonable. Too much. Just plain wrong. Heck, I'm going to go two steps back and say that even ASKING or THINKING OF ASKING for something is wrong and that it's not going to get me to where I want to go anyway so why bother.
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If you feel that way, if you feel that asking or thinking about asking is wrong, that tells you something about your babyhood. What happened and what didn't happen. What do you need? What do you want? Now? When you were tiny? What's so hard to ask for? Now? Then? You fix yourself by exploring all these question marks. And following where the clues lead you. Not by accepting the status quo. Not by renouncing your right to ask. Because you do have a right to ask. And in many life situations you definitely have a right to GET what you ask for. Particularly when you're a baby and totally dependent.
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It's a dichotomy of being so simple and yet so complicated at the same time. I hear you though Ygrec. Beautiful piece of music btw. 
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Glad you liked it. Take care!
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We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
Ygrec23