In my opinion that is absolutely not what therapy should be like at all. You definitely should not feel like annihilating yourself after therapy. No,therapy is not a sunny stroll through Paris, but it shouldn't be torture either.

I would refer to my therapists as hostile as well if I left feeling like that.

If it's defenses, then it's defenses and they will come down when you are ready.

Where was the pressure coming from do you think? You or your therapist? It's obvious why you left therapy (I would have too) but I'm curious what lead you to enter therapy?