[quote=SoupDragon;2055625]No I haven't discussed meds with my T - if I am honest it is partly (mostly?) due to not wanting to offend my T and imply that he is not doing a good enough job - yes I know this is stupid irrational thinking, but that's why I see a T quote]

Wow, Soup, that's exactly how I thought (might I say I was quite irrational in my thinking at the time although I'm not saying that's the case for you). I really believed in my therapist when I was seeing her without medication; as a professional in the community, I KNEW she was well respected and skilled. She was THE therapist to refer to and to see if one was having difficulties. But I wasn't making progress and in fact, I was regressing. I was afraid to think or believe that I needed anything other than her expertise. Boy was I wrong and she finally recognized it but it was too late for me because by then I was hospitalized against my will. But it all worked out.

It wasn't until I got on the right medication AND saw her that I was really able to make progress emotionally. Unfortunately, she retired about six months after my meds got sorted out. It was a nightmare but at least I knew, deep inside, that none of my craziness over her retirement had anything to do with my lack of medication or her ability. I got through it and I recognize now that medication is an important piece of many's therapeutic journey . . . not everyone's and it isn't necessary in every case and it is definitely NOT the end all to be all for everyone. It is a useful tool in a tool kit that is vast. I sure hope you find what you need!