(((((casaubon)))))

Have you been reaching into my head? You sound exactly like me! In high school everyone loved me, or so they said, but I never fit in anywhere. Years later, at 27, I still don't fit in anywhere.

Sure, I have a few friends, but it seems that as long as I act like them, hide some things from them, and go with the flow, they are good friends. But as far as a true friend who completely accepts me for who and what I am...that's very rare. And to have someone understand me at all? Impossible. I have one friend that I believe really accepts every aspect of me, and I don't even know this person in real life! It's someone I recently met online.

I, too, have trust issues and am always waiting for the moment for everyone to just up and leave me, as this is just what people do. I think the only friend we will ever have that is everything we want them to be is ourselves, sad as it may be. But we are also our worst enemies.

Hang in there.