Rainbow my thoughts are similar to Treehouse's in that you seem to have a great need to defend and protect your mother as a caretaker would even though no one here, as far as I know, has ever suggested that your mother didn't love you. Yet that's what you seem to read into some of our responses and I'm not sure where that's coming from.
I am always struck by how quickly you rise to defend her, sometimes before you seem willing to even consider a point of view that feels uncomfortable to you. It's almost as though you need to convince yourself more than you need to convince the rest of us.
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Conversation with my therapist:
Doc: "You know, for the past few weeks you've seemed very disconnected from your emotions when you're here."
Me: "I'm not disconnected from my emotions. I just don't feel anything when I'm here."
(Pause)
Me: "Doc, why are you banging your head against the arm of your chair?"
Doc: "Because I'm not close enough to a wall."
It's official. I can even make therapists crazy.
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