For me ... "more than I can take" -- sure been there. At the least, what I have been through is more than someone should have to handle. I can't accept that my God gave me the abuse and the aftermath that brought me to my knees and nearly destroyed me. That would make it sound like my God wanted those who abused me to do what they did. That just doesn't make sense to me. What was done to me as a small child was evil and they intended to destroy the essence of who I am -- they intended it to be more than I could handle. And the abuse was just one of several major childhood traumas that left me a numbed out, hollow, petrified adult. All I look for now is the strength to carry on myself, and the strength to use my experience to help others. I hope that my God gives me more strength than I can handle, the determination to survive the inhuman bastards who gave me too much, and the capacity to give my children as much love as they need. That's pretty much all I can do to make sense of a truly devastating past, and find peace and meaning today.

Thanks for the rant -- it's a good one.

Be well,

mtd