I don't post very often to say I need help or support. Im just not good at it. But I need support. I am tired of fighting this. I have fought with my doctor about my diagnosis. Some of it has been diversion, but alot of times, I think my problems are related to other things. And if I would take care of those, everything would be ok. I have had problems with mental health stuff at times in the past. I was hospitalized 1 1/2 years ago for the first time in my life. I have gotten so much better since then, my doc even said so today, but said I could still do better. I'm tired. I think I am doing fine. I think I don't need medicine. Like I said, if I would do/work on my other things, I would be fine. I dropped most all my meds except my seroquel and then only taking enough for sleep. I thought I was doing good-and I was. Then yesterday, got scared and today I spiraled down. And I wasn't nice with my doc. And I am just tired. And scared. I just started a new job that I have to stay up all night when I work. And I am afraid if I can do this physiology wise. I know I can do the job itself. I am away from my support at that time to-I travel back and forth. Right now it just feels like I can't make myself. I am so blanking tired. What is sad is, tomarrow, I could feel better, and then I am back to thinking I don't need to do this. Im sorry for the long rambling....I just don't have alot of energy now to keep this up