You may be feeling better because of the medication needtoknow, and that can happen, your chemistry can come into balance and then you think you don't need the medication anymore. So it is not unusual to think you are now ok and decide to stop the medication, which can last for a bit and then as you describe you can spiral down. But not to feel bad, you just discovered you just may need to stay on the medication.

My therapist battles depression, he told me that while he was on medication he felt better for a while and thought perhaps he may be able to stop. Well, it wasn't long before he spireled down and had to return to the medication. So your not alone in that, there can be a question or idea that if you are feeling better you may not need the medication, that can be common and even a therpist can think that.

Your trying and learning as you go. I checked your profile, if you are working in the emergency room, thats very draining, I had a friend that did that and she ended up doing her five years and changing out of that area.

I hope you find a way to balance out and get a better handle on what the best choices are that truely improve your condition.

Open Eyes