my instant answer on reading your thread title; was yes ... you are I've seen it a lot in what you've shared in the what you want to tell thread; it's ok that you know you aren't perfect - none of us are ... and it's ok to be "realistic" (although your version of realistic tends to be heavy handed on seeing faults rather than growth/good things) but I wonder about extending grace and forgiveness .... gentleness .... towards yourself as well?