HI All-

So about maybe about 4 weeks ago I saw a Psychiatrist- and he told me as I sat there in his office, I was not Bipolar due to I never hit the true manic state of 96 hours staying up and not buying a car/expensive item. I was upset mainly due to he wanted to put me on lithum and anti-psychotics and that he really had no direction for me as in what "is wrong with me". It't not like I wanted a label that day but still. Plus the Pdoc did help out after I calmed down after a day or two- Cuz I wanted to know what he was going to say since Bipolar was put on me so quickly by the screener and therapist. I felt like he was saying nothing is wrong with you but something is wrong with you enough to put you on meds.

Now here is the kicker of why I explain so much above:About a week ago I saw my Therapist and I told my therapist that the psychiatrist said that I was not bipolar. My Therapist pulls out her report from the guy and she reads it off to me- Bipolar 2. I told therapist as I am going to tell you guys now- There was no confusion with me and him when he said I was not.

Now I have been wondering what is the difference between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2... so today i typed it into google and this site came up that i could easily read the definition on:
http://bipolar.about.com/cs/faqs/f/faq_bp2.htm
According to the definition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), bipolar II disorder (also known as bipolar 2 disorder or bipolar type 2) is "characterized by one or more major depressive episodes accompanied by at least one hypomanic episode." The key difference between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2 is that bipolar 2 has hypomanic but not manic episodes, meaning the symptoms of mania are generally less severe in type 2. Also, while those with bipolar I disorder may experience additional psychotic symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations, bipolar II by definition cannot have psychotic features.

This is what I will point out: bipolar II by definition cannot have psychotic features

Now I have had "out of reality" experiences I suppose you would say- Here is one:
I thought there rocks being placed for me, to tell me messages from another. Rocks in a public area that other people went to... I would not think that is normal. I told the Psychiatrist about this as well- It was very difficult for me to tell him it cuz i know it sounds so out there.. I mean who thinks that there are things in a public place just for them? That is illogical, but I truly believed it, I did- I swore to it.
I did not tell him about the spider though: but I will share it with you guys: then when a spider bit me as someone was telling me (my brother) that the rocks did not mean anything I thought the spider bite was saying that what my brother was telling me was poison.... Straight up believed this at the time- you could not convince me other wise
Another thing I touched on with the Psychiatrist was that ---The Frogs showing up and they are signs that I should stop therapy and when a frog died- i got bad news from therapist... so most definitely they were signs..... I am sorry if I am making fun of my self but it is illogical and I freaking believed it at times that the frogs were signs to me on what to do.
I will share with you guys here: There are some other things as well with this out of touch with reality such as believing the sky is not real, and that the land scape is a set up. IE the world and us are not really real.. this is all a mirage of some type.

I also can go on tangents about people messing with my stuff and moving and hiding things on me, I do this at work to some degree as well which can be bad.
Now the only voices in my head are the ones i hear shouting at me that are me when I am mad- there can be "multiple me's" in a sense but they are all me- I don't think that is part of the psychosis of hearing voices. Although my me voices can be quite rude and mean and say exactly what the psychiatrist said with "She's bad, evil, she isn't worth anything"/ but I also have at the same time screaming me's saying that "You (to self) are stupid and Worthless!" and so forth-- and another me saying "it's ok- your not a fool calm down" that is much much much quiet..and one voice that is in there saying "i am not sure what is going on" I hear them all but I know they are me- That is why when the psychiatrist asked if I heard other voices saying stuff I told him this exactly- "no- the only voices that I hear are me in my head". I will admit today that may not have elaborated with what i just put down in words here.

Any ways- I would like the imput on this from you fellow bipolar, due to I am really confused now with this psychiatrist. My therapist and I are talking more about boarderline cuz well I have some traits with that

The red flag with bipolar with these people is that my mother, my brother and my 2nd oldest sister are all dx with bipolar (6 kids in the family) and think I highly may be as well. As well that I do at times seem to go through mild depression. Usually October is a start of one but I am really trying to keep me out of that by trying to figure out maybe why I get depressed (I am not sure if i am doing a good job on it cuz I've been edgy lately).

I have heard that people can be both bipolar and borderline, my therapist mentioned that in my first session with her. But I just wanted to hear what you guys thought on this.

I know NONE OF YOU CAN DX A Person BUT I would like some of your guys' input on this.

I am thinking of seeing a different pdoc when I may be ready for drugs- that is another thing I am not ready for lithium right now....

Also if you have some better websites to better educate me on bipolar 2 please, let me know. It is appreciated.

I am sorry if i come off to hasty or sarcastic any where- I do apologies I do want you all to Please know that is something that I do to help me cope with this all and NOT to poke fun or anything with mental illness of others. And i really dont mean to come off hasty but sometimes others think I am, so I will apologize in advance for that.

Thanks!