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Perna
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Location: Maryland
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Default Oct 11, 2011 at 04:28 AM
 
I think all of us are dependent on routine to differing degrees and there are even parts of our routines that we aren't aware of. I remember when I had to go to therapy one day and got to the big parking lot in the complex and had to go a different "route" through it because my normal route was blocked by roofing trucks. It made me extremely anxious and that gave me pause; how could just driving through a parking lot to my T's office be anxiety provoking?

I thought about it and T and I discussed it and it turned out I was feeling "exposed" by taking a different route and in my childhood that meant being exposed to my stepmother's critical eye. I think we use our routines to hide but that they are more like babies who play peek-a-boo and think because they can't see, the others can't see them. I don't think there's that much "out there" that will harm us automatically like that anymore?

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