while everyone is different, taking meds sporatically usually means you don't have enough in your system for them to be beneficial. i believe the above post is correct, i'm the last person to know that something is wrong with my behavior. the want/need to be "normal" without meds is strong in me, but denial has gotten me hospitalized. denial can cause great harm to relationships, jobs, well-being. as for your therapist, if you are not following doctor's orders, liability issues come into play if they continue to treat you. also, talk to your pdoc and see if you can have a trial period of no meds. it can't hurt just to ask. the idea is to work with the professionals.