I think the question is, what will be best for you in choosing your approach to this woman when next you encounter her?

How she acts really isn't an issue, except as it triggers you. You need some defense against her triggers.

Imagine that she will be coming at you, at your next meeting, with bow & arrow at hand, behind her back, ready to zing/trigger you the first time she figures she has a clear shot.

What's your defense?

Is there any way to approach this woman that would disarm her? Remember, what you do has to cost you nothing. What comes naturally to you that might catch her unawares just long enough to throw her off her stride?

I think this initial encounter is going to be pivotal. If you can get the upper hand (again, without costing you), I think you have a small chance of turning this around. At least for the time being.

You sound like you've calmed way down & certainly seem to have more of a long view on the situation. All good.