Intellectuallization. It IS real. Your FEELINGS are REAL. Your T should have caught this, should have stopped you here. This is similar to my frustrations in therapy. It's like because I didn't say it correctly, with enough FEELING or something, they didn't think I "got it". Maybe I didn't, but SFB, I am yelling at my current T plenty, saying I said this 20 years ago, why didn't she understand it? Dam T's! This is why I expect my T to be dam grateful to ME, I have been doing this l0nger than he has and putting up with a lot more crap, and paying for it. Yes, he has something to teach me. But it's like pulling teeth. And my chances of finding it elsewhere? I have been around this block many many times! Anyway, back to you. Don't let their eff-ups prevent you from getting what you need or want. So we're smarter than they are, so what. That's why I had to read a million books before I found ONE - and then the same guy's next book made ME want to puke!