glad u posted gulas. yes i'm bipolar and self medicated on alcohol. it led me right into alcoholism. i'm 21 yrs. sober now but if i were to be stupid enough to pick up a drink i'd be off to the dungeon straight away.
others will offer their solutions to this problem but here's what i did once i KNEW it was more than a problem. i went to AA, still do, and got real with others about why i was there. you've already tried this but did you speak up and share what a mess you had become? they tell us alcoholism results in jails, institutions and death. i was fortunate i never went to jail or a dui but that was just "luck". i did find myself in dual diagnosis inpatient treatment places and then the psych wards X 2. i couldn't stop or so i thought. when i was emotionally bankrupt i knew it was necessary to try to help myself if i wanted to really live life. i felt i had no soul, a shell, numb. i only had the last option coming up at that time. but people don't have to hit such a low bottom. they can save themselves the upcoming misery.
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I just wish there was an easier time to kick the habit. My fiancee has a lump in her lung, my father has a mass on his heart and I'm facing a month in jail for OUI-related offense. **** is hitting the proverbial fan.
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we will use any reason/excuse to drink to escape...dog died, dog lived, it rained, it didn't rain, etc.
a good reason besides your desire to get sober for self is your dad being sick. he needs you to be there sober. BUT only you can stop. alcoholism is an "equal opportunity" disease.
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Now I need help and I don't know how to ask for it.
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just ask. put the pride in the garbage. it worked for me. we will continue to bargain the alcoholism until it either destroys our life or kills us. it promises us the world and only takes our soul. it's a LIAR. it wants to destroy us and it will if we don't do what we need to do. that is a fight for your very life. if you had cancer you'd prob be willing to go thru chemotherapy. just cause you can't "see" the life threatening disease it is still there. there is no cure for alcoholism but abstinence relieves us. it won't go away unless we do something about it.
i've lost many, many friends to this disease including my bgf when she was 45 and a mother to 5 kids.
choose life. you will never regret humbling yourself admitting your situation. your life can become like mine-happy, joyous and
free.
if you want feel free to pm me. know we sober ones at this forum will support you also.
sorry for long post.