Disassociating is what makes it so easy to hurt ourselves. I 'slipped up' last night but never felt a THING. I have an awful lot riding on whether I SI or not- my husband who I separated from 2 weeks ago has said that if I SI 1x more then he will go thru every court in the land to get the kids taken off me. He has been given literature to read and talked to by mental health professionals about SI and why ppl can't just stop it, but he does not understand at all and doesn't seem to want to. But anyway, I got off topic a bit here. So you had to find a release to your emotions. As long as you don't do it in a dangerous place (on your body) that is the main thing. Just keep trying to throw back those urges...it is SO hard so never beat yourself up about it.