I just have to vent, and it may help me.... but i'm not expecting it will. I have a Pain in the Butt Pdoc... or as I call him a Dr. House substitute. I can't stand him anymore, he was asking me about finding a new T, going to the hospital, both of them I don't want, i don't even want to see him. Nothing is taking my mind away from that conversation yesterday, (or Lecture). I know even before he says anything, what he's going to say. I'm fighting a lot, and not making any progress... in finding a new treatment team or even in my studies. I don't even want to study, Which is a first. For the first time in several months I played my main instrument and there was no relieve in playing, and no help in mood. What else can I do. I'm literally SCREAMing inside, no one knows from the outside, I just keep going, and yet I'm in a bad spot.... with no real person around me to try and talk me out of anything, or to talk me into focusing on something else. What more can I do, when all things fail me?

Is there something that will help me to keep my focus on something other than my mindset? Is there Hope?