Hello & Welcome, Bookbuff!
I'm impressed that this encounter with your old friend happened several years ago (did I read that right?) but it impressed you so deeply and vividly. Far from pleasant, the encounter was traumatic. I certainly can understand about not wanting to reestablish contact.
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...but at least his mother was not the mean, abusive, crazy psychotic that my mom was.
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I imagine that's a huge, unspoken part of this story.
May you find the safety and confidence to explore yourself.
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My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.