Anika ... I am truly sorry to see this thread. Even after seeing all of the posts on this site it still amazes me that the ones that have hurt us the most are the ones that we love the most and need the most during these times.

I don't know what words to use in order to comfort you. All I can say is hang in there. You seem to have pulled yourself out of deeper holes before. No one should have to do that over and over again. But keep at it. You seem to be heading in the right direction.