Quote:
Originally Posted by Anika
My mom and your mom sound a lot alike from your threads. I know my mom has had a very traumatic life and I know she is not mentally healthy. I try to keep that in mind and leave room for her to be human. But it's hard knowing she had been on meds for years and refuses real treatment or is unwilling to change. She is the child in the realationship. After all these years I still miss my mom and I am finding accepting that it will always be this way very hard.
I have pretty much stopped trying to reach her unattainable standards she sets, that she herself cannot meet. She even expects the grandchildren to be the adults in her relationships with her. But the last few times of me needing her say when I was hospitalized for psychotic mania and she wasn't there, not even a call. And it just stings. I am always there for her, and maybe that's what has to change , I don't know.
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Yeah, I totally understand....totally. You HOPE one day they'll change, but change never happens and it's disappointing, hurtful and sometimes (like today) brings me to true anger.... Today I wrote a horrible post "Payback is a *****!", because I'm sooooo mad that I'm always the parent and she always expects for me to let her use me as a talking post. She whines and groans to me with all her woes, but god forbid if I'm having an issue were I just need to talk or at least just can't deal with her gripes....
I find when I'm needy I lose my patients with and for my mom.... I just can't deal with it. She's going to have to take care of herself until I'm well and stable. Then, perhaps I will again have clarity regarding her own issues and how she will NEVER be able to support me. She just doesn't have it in her.