I am trying to set solid boundaries and decide if I can put up with this without going crazy. Obviously leaning towards not...

my question today is:

she absolutely refuses to let me come to her pdoc appointments.

i see this as a dealbreaker for the simple fact that I beleive a large majority of our issues stem from her ilness, maybe not all of them , but there certainly can't be any harm done by me being at the appointments.
she refuses.

she also lies which is another dealbreaker.

spoke to a man she promised she wouldnt, caught her, lied over and over again and this has happnened so many times it didnt even cross her mind to apologize for the lies.

i would like to have a chat with someone, let me know if and how we can do that.

its hard to get everything into perspective in a forum, especially when there is so much that has happneed and for so long.