I know how you feel.
My mother spent most of my life either ignoring me or attempting to emotionally blackmail me in order to have her way. She'll go out of her way to help my younger sister (when my sis was evicted, she bought her a house, just as an example) but if it's me, nothing. I was hospitalized for a psychotic mixed episode a few years ago, and she wouldn't visit or even call me. She didn't attend my college graduation either.

There's always some excuse as to why she can't help me, or talk to me, or deal with me. I wish I didn't care as much as I do. It stings, it really does.

The only thing I've been able to do is distance myself from the situation and try not to take her behavior to heart. That is so, so hard to do, and my dad's made several remarks about missing how I used to come around more for him to talk to. But I can't do it. I can't deal with being in their house feeling like I'm just tolerated, it's not healthy for me.

It's like.. you always hope they'll change, you know? We can't choose our family the way we can choose our friends. It's even harder when they frustrate the crud out of you but you can't help but be there when they need you, even if you know they won't do the same for you.