??? WHOA! That is VERY weird! It surely doesn't reflect NAMI's viewpoint as I've ever read or experienced it. So these particular people are clearly only expressing their own viewpoints. I'm sorry that's happening and hope that it doesn't taint your view of NAMI. (Doesn't sound like that so much, but just in case...) That said, I've seen some of this too (but not from people there in any kind of official capacity), but chalk it up to some people just can't help themselves, or don't realize how frustrating it can be to hear their personal philosophy extrapolated as the universal "cure". Suggesting things that have helped them manage is one thing, extrapolating into "shoulds" and "if onlys" to preach at others is inappropriate. In the NAMI I go to sometimes, there is a rule that people may only speak from "I" statements. Helps a lot.

Understand your quandary about the relationship thing, I've got issues in that realm too, and therefore not a good source of advice. You will be in my thoughts though!