Thank you for posting. I have to deal with this myself. Because of issues in a past relationship my bipolar partner with PTSD has real issues with placement of perceived "blame". He can't even seem to take responsibility for things that would be settled with "Whoops, sorry about that, let me move that thing/run that errand/etc." As I was raised with "I'm sorry, it's my fault" probably being the first words I spoke, it's really easy for me to take the blame, which creates a horrible dynamic. Setting boundaries is extremely hard for me, and usually when I try it usually kicks him over into an episode. He has even had a few truly psychotic/paranoid episodes.

I don't know what to suggest, since nothing I've tried seems to really work, but I wanted you to know you have voiced something that a LOT of people can identify with.