I was 15 minutes late today and by the time I got there, t had left (I think). I didn't have a very good reason for being late. I got an email that seemed important to answer when I should have been leaving, but it could have waited. Then my mind was on other things and I drove in a direction I usually need to go, instead of the way I to t's office.

Anyway, I emailed and said sorry for being late as soon as I got back, and I haven't heard from him yet. He often responds pretty quickly but briefly about appointments. I'm sad and worried about it. I didn't ask any question in the email, so I wonder if he might not feel the need to say anything at all. I won't be really upset unless he doesn't email for a few days, because occasionally he does take longer. If he doesn't respond, it would suck because it means he either doesn't care/notice that I don't have another appointment, or he actually intentionally doesn't want to talk to me . I've been struggling over whether I should be doing therapy anyway and struggling over feeling like he doesn't like me, and I shouldn't even care if he likes me. So it would be really hard to ask him for an appointment if he ignores me. Or if he's upset that I was late- and I think he kind of needs the money so I'm a little worried about that.

I can't help wondering if it would be a good thing for both of us if I just stopped going- maybe easier than having to make a point of it. On the other hand, I'm afraid I'll keep wondering if t might be able to help me. It's so hard to tell how long to keep trying when it doesn't help.