Oh, thank you so much Rose, wow you nailed it there. Too bad you can't sit in that room with me, or even be my attorney because if he could have just done what you posted it would have made a difference. But I will keep your thoughts with me.

Your right, I can see how much you are right. With everything coming into it I just didn't see that Rose. It mean't so much to me even without all the struggles in my history, it would have been the same pain, no matter what, just didn't see it through all those felled trees in my past. Your right, it carries so much pain all on it's own. I just got so confused with all those other things coming forward too, I just couldn't understand why, maybe its just because this one experience was just as painful if not more.

Thank you, I will have to read this everyday to remind myself that I am bringing just this one bad experience and they wont see the other bad things. I couldn't seem to separate them they just all came out as I have been struggling and somehow waiting for this to end somehow. I guess it was because all of what I lost seem to help all the other bad things in my past so it all came together and that is what I couldn't really see. I think I had finally felt like I had gotten that safe spot that I always wanted and it just got taken so quickly, and I never really expected that to happen.

It took me so long to get to that spot and that is why I have been so upset. I guess I never really looked at it that way. Well, I was, but I wasn't if that makes any sense. I think that it has just been like that movie Ground Hog Day were the guy keeps waking up and its the same day everyday and I have been trapped in that one painful exerience and I knew that from my past. I haven't been able to walk away from it Rose, you know? I have been so tired for the last four years. That alone is enough to be upset about.

Thank you so much Rose

Open Eyes