Thank you so much, ladies!

I absolutely can not believe I did this when I went this morning to check my mini desk calendar it turns out the appointment was not for today, Tuesday, but THURSDAY.. the other day of the week that starts with t.. the one that is still two whole days away!!!! Uh huh. Yeah.



Soooo spending last night tossing and turning was pretty useless.

But I did learn one thing--- this new T requires a LOT of background info in the form of intake surveys and stuff, which I spent a good hour filling out today. I always hesitate when it comes to divulging a lot of information before you know someone. Not because I don't want to get there-- I want to be as truthful as possible, because that will help my T help me. But it can also put the T at a disadvantage to have too much of an agenda, I feel. And I want to see her do a good job. I want her to be able to help me!!!

Anyway I am really optimistic that this T will be different from the other ones. I so want a mentor. Going back over my diary this year I can see how truly unaware ex-T was and how unaware I was, of my own discomfort with him ("Did he kiss you first? Did you kiss him first?") I can't believe I let these conversations even go on without being clear I was mad, or felt what a waste of my time that was...... Now that I am learning to pick better people that's just part of it. I hope I will be more aware of my own responses in sitting down to talk.

And yes, I am going to be honest with her about my problems with therapy in the past. I am no longer so afraid of what other people think. I can handle it if it turns out to be a dealbreaker because honestly the past little while without therapy has been pretty good.

Ok enough of the personal ramblings of lastyear... point being: thursday can't come soon enough!!!!!