Flooded - I think that Granite hit it
exactly.
>>
T has my best interests at heart and isn't going to do anything to intentionally hurt me at all.
and
>>
i also get scared of the feelings i have when i go to therapy
Yr Tdoc knows that there are big scary feelings, and is trained to help you deal with them as they come.
Please don't be so hard on yourself. 
Therapy is the hardest work you will ever do, and you are very courageous for keeping at it; you just have to go at your own pace, and that's perfectly fine. Be gentle with you.