>>there's days like today when I'm pretty certain that I don't deserve any of you.

BP that is absolutely untrue. That is the only negative thing in this whole post. Do not feel bad about yourself because of this, in fact you should feel extremely good at the whole thing.

Like you said you gave it a good shot. I don't think that is even giving yourself enough credit. I've been following your whole story, and not even taking into account your "insecurities" you went through this whole thing PERFECTLY and PROFESSIONALLY! I will even admit that during most of your posts through this I was asking myself "is this guy depressed or bipolar? because he sure is doing everything properly and confidently!"

From researching and preparing before the interview, getting ready to "highlight" your good skills that might be appropriate (like your experience with Agile) ... to how you handled the interview process (all of the different stages of interviewing would have shaken most people, you seemed to take it all in stride.) Anyone would be nervous in an interview, heck you are supposed to be nervous! Yet it seemed like you handled all of the interviews without fumbling, as evidenced by the respect they gave you even for this last followup call.

No job interview is guaranteed. There are always other people applying who will have good qualifications and will interview well. You kept a good attitude about this, you had high hopes but it didn't seem like you had life or death riding on this. It is normal to be disappointed afterward, you have a right to be disappointed! But even here you are acting constructively, taking advantage of the notes the HR person gave you.

I just wanted to post all of these here in one message to remind you what a big process this was and how well you came through it. Maybe you didn't get this job but you can be ABSOLUTELY SURE that it wasn't because you "blew the interview". And in fact quite the opposite, it seems like you came through the interview with flying colors. That they chose someone else if just a matter of life. Keep your confidence for the next one!

And don't think of this one as a "loss" in anyway. You'll have more confidence, more interviewing experience, and better odds for the position next time. You may even get a call from this place again if there is an opening!

Be proud of yourself!

>>I just need some time to kind of hurt a little I guess

You said it. It is right to be disappointed. "Enjoy" your downtime as a part of life, just don't let it shake you. Hope you are doing well.

And keep posting. I like to hope that people like me are lucky to have people like you posting here.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>