Thank-you everyone for the responses and support. It really helps! I really just needed to feel "heard" today!

Perna- Thank-you for sharing your own example with your dad. It's helpful to hear that other people have had relatable experiences.

Sannah- I did send my T a text this morning. I didn't ask to speak with her, just informed her that I had that conversation with my dad and would have a lot to process next session. She sent back a very T-like response of "yes, we will have a lot to process." Honestly, I sort of regret sending the text because I don't think it was necessary. I feel like I "threw" a lot of info at her that probably could have waited until next week. There isn't anything she can "do" about it now. But I think I sent it just because I wanted T to know-- I wanted to just tell someone.

I think I'm handling the information okay; I'm not upset or distressed. But I am still dazed. I feel a little zombie-like. This morning I thought it was Thursday and was half-way to my Thursday class before I realized it was Wednesday, and I needed to be at my office to meet students. Luckily I made it on time! It is hard though to be "present" right now. I wish I could just push this aside so I can function at 100% and then pick it back up when I get to T next week. The only issue I'm having is that I DO have a lot of emotions about it, but I don't have the time/space/support to deal with them NOW. I know T will give me everything that I need next week, but it's hard to wait when this is so on my mind right now. I even had a nightmare about it last night. I was fine as soon as I woke up, but it's just more evidence of the fact that I'm having an emotional reaction that I need to explore. I'm not really sure what I feel, but I feel something. I'm really glad that I know, and it feels good to have this information-- it's just a little shocking because I honestly never would have thought my mom was suicidal. I'm also realizing that, now I have this information, experiences I had a child that I didn't think much about are being reinterpreted in a whole new light. For instance, I remember my mom saying to my dad "I'm going to swallow every one of those pills" and then my dad and her struggling over the pill bottle. At the time, I didn't think much of it-- I was used to my mom's out-of-control behavior. Now, I realize that she was probably still suicidal throughout a lot of my childhood and that was something my dad constantly had to deal with. It makes me have a lot more empathy for my dad.