You make it sound so static, "the way things are". I think you need a little hope that you can influence the way things are, especially your perception of them.

It's your perception that others don't like you much? That's a lonely perception which may or may not be true but still, is a perception and perceptions are all from us. Another person can't give us a perception, can't interpret how we see things because it's us doing the seeing.

My husband is the oldest of four brothers. We often go visit his middle brother and sister-in-law. My husband was married before he married me and when he and I visited with this brother and sister-in-law the first Christmas we were together, my sister-in-law gave my husband a single bath, hand towel, and washcloth set in light blue. I didn't get anything even though I had met them before and we were very "together", etc. It felt very awkward, LOL. My husband is very smart and the oldest and did very well for himself in the world, better than his younger brothers and they sort of look up to him but, I guess, maybe don't feel too comfortable with him either, he's "different" from them. I am married to him and like to read. My sister-in-law now gives me best seller books or very intellectual books as gifts. My husband is a "scientist" and I most like to read fantasy or historical romance novels!

I've watched this sister-in-law with our other sister-in-law, the wife of the other brother who has divorced and remarried. She lives on the other coast so we don't see her often but when the three of us are together they seem to gravitate to one another, are good friends with one another and I gather write each other or make weight loss pacts with one another (I'm the only one of the three of us truly obese), etc. They're very comfortable together but neither of them "seeks me out". We get chocolate covered strawberries from this other sister-in-law and brother

Because I'm a stepmother and had a stepmother (and only see my stepsister, 13 years older than I am and her children and grandchildren each Christmas), I am use to feeling awkward and like I don't belong. I was an awkward teenager and life keeps seeming awkward to me.

Do other people not like me or have circumstances made it so I have to try a bit harder to be included, perhaps have a personality that goes well with my husband's but not necessarily with my husband's sons and siblings? I've always been a bit shy/standoffish through fear. . . and here are all these "new" people.

I think therapy helps us see patterns in our behavior and backgrounds that can help us see how responsible/"helpless" we are for how we are treated by others. I don't feel so badly about myself, don't take all the responsibility or feel so left out and disliked when I realize my past situations and how they contribute to what I think and do and perceive now. Now I can push myself forward (if I want) and join in with others, knowing they probably don't dislike me, they just don't know me well and I don't make it easy enough for them to do so with my "regular" reticent behavior?

It's like when I was in therapy and interviewed to work with my husband (yes, I married the boss :-) and my brain wouldn't shut up enough, kept yammering at me such that when a question was asked me, I had to answer it immediately without thought (usually). However, with nearly 10 years of therapy (but only the final 1 or 2 useful) under my belt, I was able to notice that my to-be husband took a lot of time before he had something to say or answered a question. It almost made me anxious for him but then I realized, "If he gives himself that much time, he will let me give myself that much time". It seems so obvious now but what gets me is that I could not have ever realized that without that 8-10 years worth of therapy!

I'd like to say I lived happily every after in the question answering department but, alas, I was only able to give myself time enough to try to quiet myself down to begin to answer the question; never mind thinking of a coherent, good answer! That was still further in the future. But I was able to recall my own name and quiet myself a little so I wasn't quite as anxious and that gave me a little bit of edge with my ability to answer and. . . I got the job right away. Did I mention it was the second time I had sent in my resume and tried for an interview? He'd hired someone else for the job 6+ months earlier; I'd never heard from my first resume but then saw an identical ad in the paper and applied again. That courage too came from therapy I suspect. I was able to realize that I really wanted that job!

It can be very subtle what one gets from therapy but also very surprising. Also very rewarding if one keeps at it.

Your perception of yourself can change. You don't have to settle for less, settle for "the way it is". It can be any way you'd like it to be.