It's okay to feel safe, and ready, and terrified all at the same time. The terrified may be more about the unfamiliar territory than it is about feel safe with your T.
I think you have been talking, and you have had some leaps of faith to get to where you are. I think it might be that you are more aware of your experience of taking leaps of faith and talking and those experiences are encouraging you, but another protective part of you says to be cautious.

It sounds like your liking therapy is helping you to want to be there even more.