If you are not afraid to say, that is.

I've been through a lot, as I believe all of you have been. bp is a
super-exciting roller coaster ride.

Apart from things like giving $7K to a supposed friend who asked for
money and then disappeared suddenly and losing more than $10K
from spending sprees, having sex with strangers etc etc, full-blown
mania with nearly every symptom on the list, the worst thing that
ever happened was the first time I landed in hospital with severe
mania.

I was tied down to the bed for the whole night even though I wasn't
violent I was just shouting nonsense. In my country, it is standard
practice to tie patients down for the slightest thing, like when the
nurses get fedup of behaviors that patients cannot control.

In the morning, when it was time for shower, because I was so
heavily drugged that I couldn't stand straight, I was stripped bare
*in front of the whole ward* (I'm female, btw) and led to the bathroom.

It was the worst and most humiliating experience in my life.
Before this happened, I was terribly shy of having to strip in front
of females (no problems with males though - hypersexuality) for
stuff like medical checkups, giving birth etc, but after that experience,
I lost all sense of shame about my body. Now if I were to get stripped
in front of the whole world it wouldn't faze me anymore.

I don't know if I lost something else because of that experience, and
if I did, I don't know what that is.

I weigh my other negative experiences so far (eg, what happened
at work after I was diagnosed, the discrimination I experienced)
and they are minor by comparison.

Now I feel almost invincible (of course I know I'm not) in the sense
that nothing else can crush me anymore, although I don't know if
something worse will happen and that becomes my new benchmark.