You very well may be depressed... negative thinking is the big clue, along with the other things you mentioned. Saying you hate yourself- definitely negative thinking.

My therapist said someone can have low energy, no motivation and not have depression, but if you have negative thinking, then you're high risk for depression.

As far as the issues with your husband.... are you bored?...I'm bored as all get out and all I could do for a few days was obsess about my mom and friend being so self absorbed and selfish- basically causing my own problems in the "present" moment that didn't exist until I started thinking about it again.

The whole thing about eye contact I don't quite get. I look people in the eye all the time. I think it's a respect thing really- however in some countries it's disrespectful to look someone in the eye....so who knows? ...I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable.