I don't know if the tapes would help or not. One thing I feel pretty safe saying is that if you go into therapy looking for the therapist to make a mistake, or to say something that needs a response, then you are going to find it -regardless of the intent or lack of intent behind it.

It must be very very hard to accept help from someone when you are so vigilant about them being wrong.

There has certainly been times when my therapist has said something that he denied saying, or forgot about.

Of course, there are also times when he said one thing, and I heard another.

I don't know if this is the case for you, but my therapy was way more about what I heard and remembered versus what my therapist said or didn't say.

It's clear you've had a very very bad experience with one therapist and you're carrying that betrayal with you. Completely understandable don't you think?

But I guess I would have to ask myself, how beneficial is it to me to hold this therapist accountable for a bad lesson I learned from another.

Don't know.