I am finding sobriety and life to be unbearable right now. Feeling all sorts of things that I don't want to, can't have a "good" day, constantly angry and irritated. I've always known that I have issues w/being social, which is why I tend to avoid it. Rehab/meetings have forced me to be social in an intimate way I'm not at all comfortable with... Ugh.

It feels like school all over again... the oldtimers banding together and turning their backs to me. In meetings, I'm invisible. I hate everything about sobriety so far. Frankly, having to socialize makes me want to drink/use...

Still trying to get my b/f to move out, but he is so deep in his pot fixation, he hasn't bothered looking for a place yet. He ate most the food in the fridge last night (that my mom made for me & would have lasted me 2 weeks).

Still sober... no drugs... no alcohol. Hating it. Insomnia is getting worse... getting only about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. I hate everything about my life right now & I am enjoying NOTHING. No time to myself at all to write/play music or do anything I want to do. FML!!!!!

Had my first U/A last night at the rehab center & that was really weird...

Anyway, sobriety sucks, but I'm going to ride it out while hoping it will get better.