I am an idiot. Or am I?

I've posted several times about how much I despise my job. I'm on anxiety meds, blood pressure meds, and now I have an ulcer. I hate many of my coworkers, the work is boring and tedious, and the commute is a nightmare. HOWEVER... I get paid a fortune, have great benefits, can wear super casual clothes, get 5 weeks paid vacation, have tons of seniority and clout, and my bosses adore me and give me whatever I want. But that's how much stress and BS I deal with, that I would actually want to give all that up in this economy.

So I've been applying for jobs and have had no response. Then yesterday I get a call for a great job in a great location. I had an appointment to call their HR rep at 4:30. And what did I do? Had a mini panic attack and never bothered to call....

So here's my one big opportunity and I blow it. WHY???? The thought of having to switch jobs is overwhelming and made me physically sick. I have had so much stress in the past few years (serious family health issues, broke up with fiancee, etc) that I just can't even think about starting over again... no vacation, no clout, having to learn everything, meeting new people, new routine, new building, etc.. it's too much for me to mentally handle. Plus they would not pay me nearly what I'm making now and that's a big consideration because I pay a mortgage by myself.

And honestly when I really think about my job it's not that bad. I know I get very emotional and tend to overreact and be a 'drama queen' about things. I think most of my health issues are caused by my own stressing out over things that aren't that important. I should be happy I get paid this much to do boring monkey work and have everyone think I'm a genius. Plus it's a casual environment, there's a few people that are really cool and alot of fun, and most of my day is spent screwing around on the internet. I should not be complaining about my job one bit when there are so many others out of work.

Did I blow it? I'm trying to justify it by telling myself, "You already have a great job, let someone else who is out of work take this one!"

As always, thanks for listening!