T gave me lots of homework for this week....
One of the tasks is to go out....
I am going to find a place..

You know what?
It`s always interesting to go beyond the safety zone...BUT...i don`t want to dissociate! I don`t enjoy it, then...

I feel a little hesitant....my fear is: The Night....

The problem is that i really have no friends. Only one online friends who lives in a different country. I used to be friends from childhood with 2 girls who are my neighbors in the place i live with my parents - but we "broke up" a few months ago.

In the area i live - alone in my one room apartment - i have only T to talk to - and this is an hour a week and a phone call for a few minutes IF i am in emotional crisis (which managed to happen at least one a week until now...)

I don`t know if i will get to know people there,,,so that gradually i get out of my loneliness...

I am used to feel very unsafe at night. And to have flash backs. The flash backs say that any place like a bar or a club is a BAD DANGEROUS place! And i better stay home alone, safe, talking to God....