I have a distinct problem, with my T. You all know that I consider him to be a friend, which enables me to talk to him about anything and everything. I know that he has a job to do, and that he is my therapist............but for the most part, I look at him as someone that I can confide in, that can help me deal and resolve issues.

What provoked this problem was actually Peanut's post about DBT - handout #9 I believe. A while back I had started digging into DBT and was angered beyond description to find out that my T was using these "techniques" on me. We discussed it and basically worked it out - meaning I shoved the problem to the back of my mind and didn't deal with it.

Then I saw this handout thing and went digging. (Nothing against you, Jill, honest xoxoxoxo). There I discovered all this other stuff, things that he and I had discussed.......phrases that I had thought were original from him, only to discover that they were connected with this type of therapy. So are weekly sessions and making yourself available 24/7 to your patients............I was so very hurt again and extremely angry.

Since I haven't really been on meds, my temper is not good. Today I had an appt. with him and told him straight out that I was angry with him........eventually we discussed why. In my mind, he is either my friend who cares and helps me solve things or he is Dr. ________, and I am the patient. If he is the "Dr.", then I am not able to discuss things with him.

I can't do it. I don't open up to people, esp. doctors. For the most part I dislike doctors immensely. Consequently I look at him as a friend. He claims that the two are together - because he cares, he wishes to help me.

The major issue here are his techniques. I hate reading about this stuff and then during a session, I know what he is going to say because I've read about it. And no, I can't stop digging into it - I've tried.

I fight him every inch of the way when he uses these techniques. I told him today no more stupid exercises, and that this DBT was a bunch of garbage. That I am NOT a text book case, and that he should simply talk to ME and not use a script.

Bottom line: I either have to accept these techniques and begin using them, or stop seeing him. Right now, neither is acceptable to me. I don't know what to do.

If I stop seeing him, I will die. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.............I will. He has been my lifeline and without his friendship/caring, I won't manage.

Logical question is why not just accept his techniques, right? If I do that, then he becomes one of "them" and I can't be as open with him. I will withdraw and "pretend" to do his exercises and get no benefit from them.

Is there some way to integrate the two? If there is, please let me know. Right now, I can't go back.............and that leads to what will happen. I can not deal with one more person I care about being gone. I don't know how to override it.

P.S. I do logically know he is a professional.........that this is his job. I guess I need to forget that in order to talk to him.

Thanks.

Mary Alice