thanks for sharing what's going on, splitimage. first thought i had re SU- i had been asked that question multiple times in rehabs, psych wards, therapy, etc. one day i realized my continuing to drink was
the plan.
not intentionable or deliberate but that's what happens to alcoholics. if they don't stop the cyle of abuse we are promised jails, institutions and death. i recall you losing a person who attended AA. it upset you as i have been upset many many times over the yrs. each one i knew well that died from alcoholism or overdose. alcohol abuse kills
far more than ppl recovering from it. i really don't think you want that outcome but if you don't address why you want to escape from life you're going to drink. so i'm not addressing the other part of your post cause drinking is what i got a "degree" in before i got sober. so i'm reminding you of the real skippy. it's time, imho, that you get serious. not
maybe long term serious but
real long term serious about your drinking. antibuse is just stalling your next drunk. why not stop drinking without the crutch? i recall why they recommended it but if i can get sober and stay stopped without antibuse then you can too. no need for all the froo-froo/antibuse, etc. re your quote, wanting to drink-
Quote:
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I told her about my massive desires to drink over the long weekend and how I'd gotten through it by doubling my antabuse dose, but that lately I was feeling that things were just kind of pointless
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what is the payoff for your desire to drink after acquiring some sobriety? it
is pointless if you "take your will back". maybe you haven't hit your next low bottom on the rung to a living hell. how much are willing to sacrifice for the elixir of alcohol abuse? haven't you beat yourself up enough or do you want to have another go of it? i'm sure you already can imagine the price you will pay. it gets worse everytime we pick up again if we don't die and then it's over.
my post is not to offend you. it is what i'd tell anyone irl at AA that thinks this way. of course it's your choice what you do. i just had to say what i'm saying. they say when we try to help another we strengthen our own resolve. thank you helping me "keep it green", 21 yrs later. no sarcasm intended. just the plain truth.