I started crying AGAIN today in my session. As I was reaching for a Kleenex, I asked my T why am I always crying in there. I reminded him that I never used to cry, but lately I end up crying in every session. His answer: You also used to come very close to killing yourself on a fairly regular basis. I prefer this route. (He's never been a man to mince words.)

He went on to say that I may not have cried much in the past, but I really needed to. The problem with people who hold all of it in is that it explodes in very unhealthy, and in my case, very dangerous ways. My crying now is a positive sign as I am more able to bring up the deeper issues and acknowledge what I have buried as a means of self-protection.

Then, as I had used talking about crying as a way to try to change the subject away from what was really the issue at hand, he went right back to the issue at hand anyway. Can't pull one over on him. He knows all my avoidance techniques. Gotta love him.