space,
From my own experiences there is something about depression that sometimes causes me to feel very dark and alone in the evenings. It is often a struggle to force myself out of bed each morning, but I do so because I have a job I can't afford to lose.

But, if you are at a point where "everything is so meaningless" - then I will strongly encourage you to get in and see a doctor ASAP! I did that because I just couldn't make myself not feel meaningless at a few of times during my life. Those were the times that I knew I absolutely had to get help. (And I did, and I always will if I feel that way again).

Don't give up, there are answers and I wish the best for you.