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Oct 13, 2011, 10:08 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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Just spoke with staff from the Jail and found out that this woman was just served the Restraining Order and Move-Out order about 1/2 hour ago. They will be releasing her from jail between now (8pm) and 1030pm tonight.
I'm real anxious right now, and I'm feeling pretty bad for her. She really has nowhere to go and I'm hoping she found some resources for temporary housing, or she found a shelter otherwise she's going to be out on the street. I don't think she has any money on her, unless a friend wired her some, but I doubt it.
I feel bad for her, but I am also going to stand my ground and she will have to deal with the consequences of her actions. As guilty as I feel, I'm going to have to cope with that because there's no way I'm caving into the guilt.
The other thing is.....I'm scared. What if she disregards the restraining order and tries to come back to my place...in the middle of the night. It's very unsettling. T says that I will call the police and protect myself...I say to T "I can't call them if she kills me".
I try not to catastrophize the situation, but I really don't know what to expect from her right now and not knowing what to expect is leaving too much room for the PTSD to play mind games with me.
I really want to call my Mom....and just feel some comfort from her....but I know the likelyhood of that without judgment is not in my favor and the price would be too high.
Every movement I see outside is her....this is going to be a long night. 
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