I've suffered from depressive episodes since childhood but within the last few years I have had a series of joint/spine surgeries which have beaten me down. I agree --having to deal with the physical limitations is depressing. It's hard to accept and it's hard to not constantly be reminded of how my body is now different. A recent depressive slide began months ago when I read a medical lab report about a possible tumor near a major artery in my neck. (It turned out benign). In those four weeks before I knew depression gradually hit to the point where I had to go back on medication.

I wish you better health and improvement in your epilepsy. For me --the whole "Be grateful your alive" stance never worked. I try not to dwell and be as active as I can. One thing that I do that does bring a sense of health in spite of my ailments is that I try to live a healthy lifestyle (diet ,exercise). I find that if I do something that is supposed to be physically good for me---that I do feel better somehow about my body. Maybe that might work for you too.