(((( Granite ))))

I, too, used to SI....when I was a teenager, and then again shortly after my husband and I split up - and I witnessed a traumatic event that triggered all sorts of horrible memories for me....

I shifted from physical SI to emotional SI....which is painful in its own way but helps me to numb out all the bad stuff...

My T and I were talking recently about how our brains are protective but get in the way of our bodies getting our needs met. My body would be telling me something - but my brain would figure out all the ways that this could possibly be dangerous, thus shutting down the need that my body is trying to tell me. This is a foreign thing for me, because I always thought my brain did everything. My body is just something that's attached to it.

T wants me to try working on quieting my brain and letting my body figure out what it needs and work towards it...and when my brain goes haywire and on overload with its protective measures, acknowledge it - and then tell my brain to be quiet - and let my body do what it needs to do.

Not sure if this is of any help to you....I just see similarities in how your body is fighting for something, but your brain won't allow it. I am in a similar place, and am hoping I will be able to work on it....(( HUGS ))