Man, I heard that! I feel exactly the same way about my T, Jeff. Your story is exactly like mine - except my T is about my age. I've told her I love her. I told her I wish we could have met under different circumstances. And I've wondered what it's gonna be like once our time is through. I'm getting a glimpse into that now that she's been off recuperating from surgery. I haven't seen her in over 2 weeks - and have at least that long to go before she might be seeing clients again - and it's been difficult. I miss her as a T - the work we do together - and I miss her as a woman. I miss being around her and experiencing her perspective on life. I've resisted the urge to "check up" on her via email to see how she's doing with her recovery. She lives alone and I'm hoping she's not been abandoned by the support network she said she had in place. The thought of her being at home alone trying to take care of herself breaks my heart. But I'm gonna maintain the boundaries and keep my distance.

Cuddos on telling her how difficult it was to hear from your T that your feelings for her could never be returned by her! I felt the same way when I was told those things but didn't have the heart to say it out loud. It was humiliating enough!! Not because of anything she said - just my shame for having those feelings and not having them returned. (eventhough I know they couldn't be!)

My feelings for my T are confusing and frustrating enough. But when you add in the guilt of having these feelings for another woman - being a married man - and the knowledge that those fantasies will never come true is the kind of sustained hurt I've never felt before. And frankly I don't see a way out. Because I don't see my feelings for my T ever changing. We could stop seeing each other tomorrow and I will always wonder what it might have been like if we had met socially.

Thanks for posting. Needed to feel not so alone with all this today...

Terry