What? Why??
Don't you feel a little annoyed or irritated by his actions? It sounds like you are really being there for him; being open-minded and open-hearted to hear what he has to say about the relationship you both have together and how or why he isn't feeling well. But over and over again he is closing himself off from you. Sure, we all need "time to ourselves" in a relationship. But communication is equally as important. Sitting together while he says nothing, or being grumpy and flat with no explanation, then refusing to care for himself by seeing a doctor...
I guess I see myself in your post because I have had the tendency to do nice things for others to try and cheer them up so that they can be there for me.
But this all backfires in the long run...
Have you ever looked at CoDA? I have found it helpful with relationships.
Sending supportive thoughts your way...
Elana