SI trigger stuff (I don't know how to warn -do I need to do anything else?)

Doing therapy makes me want to si to stop the feelings I have when I leave of rage impotence frustration and general wrongedness. It has been this way since the first time I tried therapy 25 years ago. I left the office once night when I tried this in my early 20's- after about the 3rd or 4th appointment and broke both my hands without realizing it. It did not hurt at the time, it just gave me relief from the horrible way I was feeling. I had rarely done si during high school or college and could usually stave it off or not actually cause injury. That t wanted a "contract" of no self injury which I thought was possibly the dumbest thing I had ever heard of and it did no good for me - I just did not tell her about it and quit therapy after about a year. After quitting therapy that time, the urge went away (I had the urge after almost every appoinment even if I did not succumb); I tried therapy again about 15 years later and the same thing happened in terms of wanting to do it. I told that t (who rarely said anything) and on the si she did not say anything either. She did not indicate it was worth exploring and I did not know what to say - that one lasted about 4 months with the si urges getting worse after each appointment. With the one I just quit, the urges started again and I told the t. She called it resistance and said I should not do therapy if it was not safe for me. Once or twice I actually caused injury and told her about it. She asked where and how bad and that was it. I guess I could have told her more if I had wanted to do so. I did not really know what more to say.
So that has been my experience. Other than the one who wanted the K, the other two did not have that much to say so no boundaries as far as I can tell, unless the last one was going to tell me directly to quit, but she never did say that.